My Travel Bucket List

In true Sagittarius style I love to go on adventures and explore new places, so today I thought I would share the travel destinations that are currently at the top of my bucket list. Whilst there are so many parts of the world I would love to travel to, I managed to whittle it down to 5 destinations, all of which have not only been the subject of numerous daydreams in the past but they would all offer completely different and unique experiences that may hopefully be a reality for me someday...

Los Angeles

Whilst visiting every state of America is at the top of my bucket list it is California that I am most eager to travel to at the moment, especially LA. Even as a young child I have wanted to travel to Los Angeles and be a completely typical tourist, doing things like seeing the Hollywood sign and finding my favourite stars on the Walk of Fame, as well as driving over to Disneyland and visiting various film/TV studios. I feel like there is quite a variety of different vibes going on in LA and I would love the chance to explore everything, from the beaches and mountains to the museums and shopping centres in the huge city. 

Iceland

Ever since seeing Troian Bellasario's Instagram feed over New Year when she was in Iceland, I have had this desire to visit. To me it looks like such a beautiful and magical part of the world and reminds me so much of scenes from The Hobbit that I would half be expecting to bump into Bilbo Baggins and Gandalf if I ever were to visit. Whilst it was the natural beauty of Iceland that first attracted me, such as waterfalls, mountains, volcanoes and glaciers, I would also love to explore the picturesque cities of Reykjavik and Akureyri as well as the incredibly popular Blue Lagoon, which looks amazing! For me though, what I would probably most like to do in Iceland is see the Northern Lights as it has been on my Bucket List for so many years and looks like such a breathtaking experience.

Amalfi Coast

I have never actually visited any part of Italy before, however I know if I were to go I would make a beeline straight for the Amalfi Coast. Now I'm not gonna lie but it was probably the Galaxy Chocolate advert that made me fall in love with the Amalfi and ever since then I've been obsessed. Everything about it looks like a postcard, from the coastal mountains to the brightly coloured pretty towns, as well as the beautiful blue mediterranean sea. I think it would be the perfect Spring/Summer getaway and I would love to take a trip there sometime soon!

Bali

Whenever I think of a place like Bali an image of paradise springs to mind, which is why it is definitely one of my top 5 bucket list destinations. Whilst the white sandy beaches (ones which I ever only dreamt about) are what attracted me the most to the island, I would also love the opportunity to explore a world completely different from my own and broaden my horizons by discovering spiritual temples, eating new foods and experiencing a whole new culture.

South Africa

Rounding out my Travel Bucket List is South Africa which has long been a dream destination of mine. It is definitely the most diverse place I have included, which is probably why I want to visit so much, with busy cities such as Cape Town and Johannesburg, paradisaical beaches and obviously the safaris. To be able to see some of my favourite animals in their natural habitat would definitely be an unforgettable experience that I would love to try one day. 

Have you been to any of these places? What is on your travel bucket list?

Megan

My Mental Health Story

With this week being Mental Health Awareness Week here in the UK, as well as also being Mental Health Month in the US, I thought I would share my story of suffering from a mental health disorder. I have never actually really spoken about this part of my life before, especially in this much detail, however I have recently been inspired by one of my favourite actresses, and also one of my biggest role models, Mayim Bialik. She is currently part of a campaign to be Stigma Free regarding Mental Health, and it is through reading other peoples stories and seeing so much support in various online communities that I have finally worked up the courage to sit down and write this post, in the hope that it may offer support to someone who may be suffering at the moment, as well as raise awareness for Mental Health Conditions. 

I have always been quite a shy and introverted person and I would often worry unnecessarily, even as a young child, yet it was nowhere near severe enough for me to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. However, 4 years ago, a few weeks after my 15th Birthday and the first day back at school after the Christmas holidays, I experienced my first panic attack. Now I have never been the biggest fan of going to school, probably like most teenagers, yet I was pretty much always present and was regarded as a quiet and studious pupil. However, when I woke up on the first day of this new term, I had suddenly developed what I can only describe as a mental block about going to school, where it felt like my brain and body were fighting each other, which eventually culminated in a panic attack. 

This was the start of an ongoing battle with myself nearly every morning before school for the next few weeks, in which I would wake up feeling physically unwell with symptoms such as nausea, dry mouth, going hot and cold, headaches and dizziness every morning, as well as the odd panic attack occurring at least once or twice a week. As well as this, I was also starting to lose interest in my normal day to day activities. I remember on several occasions not even having the motivation to take a shower and my Mum has also told me that whenever we went out shopping, something I have always loved, it looked like I never wanted to be there. It was whilst this was going on that I had a Doctors appointment for a check up and my Mum happened to mention that I wasn't really going in to school. After being told to basically "snap out of it and go to school as it's law", by the Doctor, I was also told that it sounded like I had Generalised Anxiety Disorder and Depression. I remember walking out of the consultation room feeling slightly embarrassed that I was feeling this way about school, as it had been a normal part of my life for 10 years, as well as feeling like I'd been kicked in the gut after being told I had depression at the age of 15.

From then on, it felt like I was on a downward spiral. Having both anxiety and depression is like you're standing on the edge of a cliff about to jump. The anxiety part of your mind is running wild with thoughts about each different scenario and outcome - what would happen if you jump, what would happen if you don't etc - so that you can no longer hear yourself think. Contrasting this, the depression part of you makes it feel as though you have already fallen because, quite honestly, you don't really feel anything. This constant struggle of emotions I experienced everyday meant I was barely attending school, as the symptoms I experienced as a result of my anxiety disorder made me feel too physically unwell to attend. Panic attacks became a regular part of my life, which completely drained me, both physically and mentally, so much so that it was too exhausting to do anything besides lie on the sofa all day. The effect this had on my emotional state was also pretty negative as I became increasingly withdrawn and distanced from my friends and peers, which led to a constant feeling of isolation and loneliness, sometimes even in the presence of my own family. There were days where I would stay in my room all day and not even see my family as I felt like I received no sympathy from them and knew they would discuss me behind my back as I think they thought I was simply crying wolf to avoid going to school, which was not the case. I would consider this to be the lowest point of my life. Being a teenager is quite a challenging time anyway, what with the raging hormones, exam stress and peer pressure, yet with the added burden of both my anxiety and depression, it felt like I was carrying around a huge weight on my shoulders. On top of all this I still had to manage my Type 1 Diabetes which, despite trying my best, became quite uncontrolled and erratic, no doubt caused by what my body and mind were currently going through. 

At the time I was fully aware of the Stigma attached to Mental Health, which led me to suffer in silence at the height of my anxiety and depression. I wanted none of my family and friends to know what I was going through as I was not only ashamed but also didn't want to be seen as weak or abnormal because of my condition. I did eventually work up the courage to tell my friends what I was going through but, whilst initially supportive, it felt like they soon forgot, which further reinforced my feelings of loneliness and withdrawal. However, a couple of years later, after taking my GCSE's, I became friends with another group of people, which really helped my mental and emotional state. I immediately felt like I belonged in this group, as well as feeling comfortable being myself, which I hadn't felt in a long time. I actually ended up suffering a panic attack in front of them whilst on a school trip, which wasn't exactly my finest hour, yet the way they supported me put me so much more at ease and I finally felt like I no longer had to hide a part of myself. They had seen me at my worst, yet they didn't treat me differently because of it, and they completely accepted me the way I was. 

Over time I have actually managed to control a lot of my anxiety through various methods and therapies. Back in 2012, when my anxiety was at it's worst, I had Cognitive Behaviour Therapy which, to be quite honest, didn't really help me all that much, as the therapist didn't really seem to know what to do with me each week and I don't think I was in the right state of mind to openly talk about my issues at the time. However, two years ago, I started having Hypnotherapy sessions which, although I was hesitant about at first, quite honestly changed my life. Even after just a few sessions my mind learnt how to dispel and override my anxious thoughts and feelings on a subconscious level, which has led to a huge decrease in my anxiety levels, so much so that I no longer needed the therapy after just a few months and my last panic attack was on the 24th March 2015. Obviously I still have days where I do feel slightly anxious and a little on edge, yet I manage to stay calm to avoid these feelings taking over and controlling me. 

When I compare my life today with how I was 4 years ago there is a huge difference. When I suffered with my anxiety and depression I became like an half-ghost, going about my day to day life without actually living any of it. Today however I am like a completely different person, in a much happier place mentally and emotionally and having much stronger relationships with both my family and friends. If anyone that happens to read this is going through anything similar, I want you to know that with a little bit of determination it will get better and whilst it may be difficult it is completely worth it in the end. 

Thank you for reading,

Megan

Things I'd Tell My Younger Self

I am always looking back on my childhood/teenage years and wishing I could give my younger self some advice as I didn't have the easiest time growing up and went through some pretty challenging times in my life. Now that I am a bit older, there are certain things that I have learnt that, if given the chance, I would definitely tell my younger self...

1. Don't be afraid of change- although it can be scary, stepping outside of your comfort zone and embracing something new will pretty much always work out for the best

2. Everything happens for a reason- very cliche but, although things may seem like they are not going your way at the time, eventually everything will click into place

3. Don't let other people's opinions stop you from being yourself- whatever anyone says or thinks about you will have no impact on your life whatsoever so it's best to forget about them and move on

4. Take every opportunity life throws at you, even if it's a risk- it's much better to try something new, even if you fail, rather than regret not taking an opportunity

5. Don't be afraid to ask for help- no one will think you are stupid if you can't do something straight away and it will make your life a lot easier and less stressful

6. Embrace your inner nerd- don't hide what you are interested and passionate about in case people think less of you, just be true to yourself and you will be a lot happier

7. Don't cut your hair- honestly, you will look back on old photos and mourn your long, shiny hair so please don't get it all cut off to above your shoulders

8. It doesn't matter if you constantly change your mind about what you want to do when you are older- it will take time but eventually you will find your vocation and make a final decision on what you want to do in the future

9. Start watching The Big Bang Theory- I know it sounds strange but this show honestly changes your life for the better in so many ways

10. Things do get better- you haven't had the easiest childhood and although it may not seem like it at the time, everything will work itself out and your life will be a lot happier in a few years 

 What would you tell your younger self?

Megan

Relaxation Tips

As someone who has suffered from her fair share of anxiety disorders and panic attacks over the years I believe that finding time in your day to day life to relax and de-stress is extremely important for your physical, mental and emotional well being. What with it now being exam season for many people I thought it would be the perfect time to share some of my favourite and most successful ways that I have used over the years to unwind and de-stress...

1. Digital Detox

I always find that turning off all of my gadgets and stepping away from technology and social media, even for an hour or two, is a great way to unwind. As it has been proven that constant connections to the online world causes increased stress in your daily life, taking a digital detox is one of the most beneficial ways to relax and take a break, as well as focus more on the real world, which in turn leads to lowered anxiety and stress levels. 

2. Pamper Yourself

For me, I don't think there is anything more relaxing than treating yourself to a pamper evening, especially in extremely stressful or anxious times. I would quite often try to take a little bit more time on a Sunday night to have a long soak in the bath, complete with my favourite bath bomb, before cleansing and steaming my face, as well as popping on a face mask which made me truly relaxed before the start of the week.

3. Read a Book

As a massive bookworm one of my favourite ways to take a breather was to curl up in bed with a good book, especially after suffering from particularly bad panic attacks. I always found that reading helped take my mind off whatever was causing me to feel stressed or tense as I could escape to the fictional world I was reading about and take a break from my own worries for a while. My favourite was definitely Harry Potter, however non-fictional books, magazines or even audio books worked just as well!

4. Listen to Music

Listening to music was mostly an accompaniment to one of my other relaxation techniques, particularly my pamper evenings, yet it also worked pretty well on it's own to help me de-stress. Classical music and movie scores were always my go-to choices, and I created and followed a number of playlists on Spotify of all my favourites. I always found that listening to classical music helped me to focus so much more on my schoolwork, especially when working towards a deadline, as well as being the perfect background noise for my A-Level revision last year. 

5. Download an App 

Although it kind of goes against my first tip, there are some great apps available that are really helpful when it comes to trying to relax. There are some specific meditation apps, such as Headspace, which is a great way to have an easy and guided meditation session, whether it be 2 minutes or 60 minutes, however, my favourite app is definitely Relax Melodies. You select sounds and melodies that you like and combine them to create a relaxing soundtrack and although it is targeted to help you sleep, I swore by this during the height of my anxiety and depended on it in stressful times to help me stay calm and relaxed. 

How do you like to relax?

Megan

Review | Nars Sheer Glow Foundation & Radiant Creamy Concealer

If there is one beauty product that I have coveted more than any other it is probably Nars Sheer Glow. Having read numerous reviews and seen it in action in countless Youtube videos it has sat at the top of my beauty wishlist for a good couple of years until the other day when I finally bit the bullet in Space NK and purchased it, along with the Radiant Creamy Concealer, leaving a considerable dent in my bank balance. 

I was originally planning to order the products online, yet I was hesitant as I was unsure of which shade would be right for me and didn't want to waste £30+ on the wrong shade, so I put it off until I could visit the nearest Nars counter. The guy in the store was extremely helpful, offering suggestions for the best products for my skin type as well as matching me to the shades "Deauville" (light with neutral balance of pink and yellow undertones) in the foundation and "Vanilla" in the concealer, which are perfect colours for me. 

In terms of coverage, both the foundation and concealer are spot on, giving medium-full coverage that is definitely buildable, due to the extremely light and weightless texture of the two products. Unlike previous foundations and concealers I have used, I cannot feel either of these on the skin at all after application, and they are also pretty invisible on the skin too, giving a flawless, yet natural, look. One of my favourite things about the foundation in particular is that it doesn't look dry and cakey on the skin, which I have experienced a fair few times in the past, rather, it glides on smoothly leaving a radiant, satiny finish. The concealer is also pretty perfect too, covering any blemishes and redness I have on my face as well as concealing dark circles and brightening the undereye area expertly. Both products are really easy to apply, and whilst the concealer does have a slightly thicker consistency than the foundation, they both blend like a dream, especially when using a buffing brush.  

All in all, it is definitely the best foundation and concealer duo I have ever used as it makes my skin look radiant and pretty much flawless. The only negatives are the lack of pump on the foundation bottle and also that I do need to powder a little bit more frequently throughout the day due to my combination skin, however both of these things I can easily overlook as they are such great products that certainly live up to their "holy grail" status. 

Have you tried these products? What did you think?

Megan  

Monochrome Spring

New Look Jumpsuit | New Look T-shirt | River Island Brogues | H&M Hat | Michael Kors Bag

With the sun finally making an appearance here in the UK, I thought I would embrace the sunshine and take a couple of outfit shots now that I can wear all of my Spring clothing without freezing half to death by lunchtime. Jumpsuits are one of my favourite items of clothing to wear not only in Spring, but all year round, as they are so versatile and effortless, however when the weather is warmer I love wearing them with a simple jersey t-shirt and brogues for a casual monochrome look. Today, I also paired it with a big hat and my Michael Kors tote for a super comfortable and easy to wear Spring outfit. 

What is your go-to item of clothing for Spring?

Megan

April Favourites

It always surprises me how quickly these monthly favourite posts come around and I seriously can't believe we are nearly halfway through 2016 already- I swear it was only New Year last week! Onto my April favourites and it's quite a small collection this month with a couple of exciting new favourites, as well as some rediscoveries that I have been loving throughout the past month...

Estee Lauder Double Wear Foundation

I have had this foundation in my collection for well over a year now yet I kind of neglected it as I didn't think it was the right shade for me. However, I recently gave it another go and realised that I can actually get away with wearing it in this shade, which I am so glad about as it is such an amazing foundation. It is such an easy foundation to apply, with a buildable coverage to give a flawless finish to the skin. It is perfect for my combination-oily skin as it lasts all day, with only one or two touch ups needed throughout the day. I am so glad I rediscovered it as it is definitely one of the best foundations out there!

The Body Shop Lip Balm- Passionberry
As someone who constantly gets dry lips, especially when the weather is still pretty chilly, I am always applying lip balm throughout the day to keep them moisturised. Whilst I have used many different ones this is definitely one of my favourites that I have tried, as it is extremely hydrating and smells amazing, as well as giving the lips a slight sheer tint of colour. I definitely want to try more of these!

11.22.63

I read and loved the Stephen King book last year, so I was extremely excited to watch the TV show, and so far it hasn't disappointed. Whilst it does differ slightly from the book, which tells the story of an American English teacher going back in time to prevent the assassination of John. F. Kennedy, the fact that it is an 8 part TV series means it is extremely detailed and accurate. All of the characters are portrayed amazingly, in particular Jake Epping, played by James Franco. It is such a compelling and suspenseful thriller and I am very excited to get to the climax of the story. 

Soap & Glory Endless Glove Hand Mask 
Another rediscovered product that I have been using lately is this hand cream/mask, which is enriched with macadamia oil and fruit acid smoothers to soothe and moisturise your hands. As I have been suffering from quite dry hands recently I have been loving using this, especially just before I go to bed, and it has made such a difference to my skin, leaving it feeling soft and smooth. 

L'Oreal Lumi Magique Highlighting Pen
Since repurchasing this concealer last month it has become a staple part of my makeup routine. Similar to offerings from YSL and Mac, it is a medium coverage, slightly shimmery highlighter that brightens the under eye area and covers dark circles. I have been loving using this to add some radiance to the face, especially under the eyes, the tops of my cheekbones and down the nose to give a pretty, luminous look.
  
The Fault In Our Stars

Despite being on my to read list for a while, I've found myself neglecting this book, partly avoiding the hype and also because I thought it might be too much of a Young Adult novel for me. However, having read it in a week, I really wish I'd read it sooner, as it is such a funny, touching and beautiful story that completely sucked me in as a reader. I love how it doesn't glorify Cancer, instead John Green presents a very real and honest tale of suffering from a terminal illness. I think everyone should read this, regardless of how old you are, and I challenge anyone not to fall in love with the crooked smiled, metaphor weaving Augustus Waters. 

What have you been loving this month?

Megan